https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-news/snl-cold-open-trump-midterms-pitch-dooms-desperate-gop-1235636469/
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“And he tricked me too!” Vance (Jeremy Culhane) then enters the room confidently before a GOP consultant (Andrew Dismukes) snubs him: “Mr.”
““Hi, I’m JD Vance,” is all he is able to get out before being cut off, mocked as a “superstar,” and told to leave.”
“Next, in comes Hegseth (Colin Jost), chugging a non-alcoholic beer.”
“And that’s the only ‘bi male’ I’m cool with.” The GOP operatives seem the most pleased with Hegseth’s pitch, but one more candidate gives it a go: Trump.”
“Account Welcome Manage Account Manage Print Account Sign Out Log In 'Not a Bribe...' ‘SNL’ Cold Open: Trump’s Midterms Pitch Dooms Desperate GOP "Don't we have anyone who can connect with voters and who isn't a liability?" one GOP operative asks By William Vaillancourt William Vaillancourt Contact William Vaillancourt by Email ‘SNL’: Watch Katseye Perform ‘Animal,’ ‘Hootie Frutti’ ‘SNL’: Jalen Brunson Is MVP of the Office ‘SNL’ Weekend Update Roasts Wincing Trump’s China Meeting, Pete Hegseth’s Transphobia View all posts by William Vaillancourt October 4, 2026 Add us as a Google Preferred Source NBC/SNL On Saturday Night Live , Republican operatives struggled to find a suitable candidate to encourage voter turnout one month out from the midterms, auditioning Marco Rubio , JD Vance , Mitch McConnell , Pete Hegseth and, finally, Donald Trump .”
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“In this article: Donald Trump, JD Vance, Late-Night TV, Marco Rubio, Mitch McConnell, Pete Hegseth, Saturday Night Live, SNL TV & Movies TV & Movies News More News How ‘Unmasking a Monster: Aileen Wuornos’ Used AI to Bring a Serial Killer Back to Life Brave New World By Elisabeth Garber-Paul Did Paul Thomas Anderson Just Make One of the Best Concert Movies Ever?”
“But not for long, because I have a solution,” he says, referring to his de facto bribe of $5,000 per person if the GOP holds the House and Senate.”
“Rubio (Marcello Hernandez), in an effort to appeal to Hispanics turned off by two years of Trump, delivers a message in Spanish: “Oh my God, he tricked us!”
“Vice President, could you go in the hall and get the next person?” Vance rolls out wheelchair-bound McConnell (Mikey Day), who can only sit there with a frozen expression.”
“Yeah, I’m putting ‘God’ back in war and it’s working.”
“The vice president then lobbies for his own shot at delivering a message to disillusioned voters.”
“Nobody has ever won so much before!” His “losing” message, it turns out, is the same.”
““And that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.” Trending Stories Tom Morello: ‘If It Kills Like Fascism, Brothers and Sisters, It’s Fascism’ Paul McCartney Reveals Why He Performed at Taylor Swift's Wedding: 'She Asked Me to Do It' Stray Kids Join BTS in Grammy Submission Boycott How ‘Unmasking a Monster: Aileen Wuornos’ Used AI to Bring a Serial Killer Back to Life After telling people to just pretend he’s on the ballot, Trump trashes one of the Senate candidates he endorsed, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, and then records a victory message just in case Republicans are successful in the midterms: “We did it!”
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